Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

R says: “I wanted to do a really messed-up holiday song because a certain person kept asking me if I’m okay with being in Christmas shows, and I’m like um, whuh? And I’m not about to do one of those Token Jew Routines because I think Adam Sandler’s song is utter crap and anything actually culturally relevant would miss the mark. Plus, Matisyahu is more reggae and soul than traditional. It was down to Weird Al’s Christmas At Ground Zero or Joco’s Chiron Beta Prime. I let both simmer for three years, tinkering on paper, and I saw a beach cave somewhere and I imagined an airlock and thought two levels of dancers, perfect! As for the robots, a mashup of Gary Glitter and Green Day Holiday by Dean Gray has been on my mind for a long time, and that one would have Daleks and Cybermen and a Tardis and Geordie as Doctor Who flying around while the dancers dance and… eh, that takes effort. Chrion Beta Prime just got taken over by Daleks. Oh, and if someone pisses me off, I can put them on mover 3 to… you’ll see.”

This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons.
You may recall we had some trouble last year.
The robot council had us banished to an asteroid.
That hasn’t undermined our holiday cheer.
And we know it’s almost Christmas by the marks we make on the wall.
And that’s our favorite time of year.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
On every corner there’s a giant metal Santa Claus
Who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you’ve been bad or good.
Not everybody’s good but everyone tries.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It’s like a Winter wonderland.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
That’s all the family news that we’re allowed to talk about.
We really hope you’ll come and visit us soon.
I mean we’re literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they …
-MESSAGE REDACTED-
Now it’s time for Christmas dinner – I think the robots sent us a pie!
You know I love my soylent green.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

The Hula Hula Boys

R says: “Warren Zevon was a brilliant musician and a tormented soul who did a lot of horrible things in his life. Jackson Browne not only saved Warren from dying of drug overdoses and murdering his family, but he’d distract him with all night songwriting and jam sessions. (There’s a cover of Poor Poor Pitiful Me by Jackson Browne that I may do in a few years.) This routine took 3 years of dreaming of it and a day and a half of building. It’s a three-minute Benny Hill act, sans Benny slapping some old geezer on the head. I felt it was perfect for a burlesque theme. And the out of sync is deliberate… not just me being lazy and sloppy. Everyone was told to be a bit random and accessorize and play it up. Bri with the one boot was the best visual pun of them all! Oh, and about the set… the tire, fence, stop sign, and cinderblock are an homage to Strong Bad from Homestar Runner.”

I saw her leave the luau
With the one who parked the cars
And the fat one from the swimming pool
They were swaying arm in arm

I could hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She’s gone with the hula hula boys
She don’t care about me
She’s gone with the hula hula boys
She don’t care about me

They’re singing,
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana (translation hazy: and thus the story goes)
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana

Yesterday she went to see
The Polynesian band
But she came home with her hair all wet
And her clothes all filled with sand

I didn’t have to come to Maui
To be treated like a jerk
How do you think I feel
When I see the bellboys smirk?

And I can hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She’s gone with the hula hula boys
She don’t care about me

They’re signing,
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana
Ha’ina ‘ia mai ana ka puana

Sturgill Simpson

R. says “My first attempt at a two-parter. I liked the anime movie on Netflix and wanted to capture the sensuality of the first song while picking up the energy of the second song. The flaming Zero plane got eaten by the venue, but it still came off well.”

Go out late at night
Just to see what I can find
Staying in the shadows
Where the light don’t ever shine
Having one way conversations
With the darkness in my mind
He does all the talking
‘Cause I’m the quiet kind
So peel it off
Pull ’em down
Let me see it
Turn around
Just lay back
And let it happen
And remember to breathe
Staying off the radar
Like a bomber on the run
Do another lap around the target
Just for fun
Staying quiet, keeping calm
Until I find the one
Feel the wave wash over me
When the deed is done
So peel it off
Pull ’em down
Let me see it
Turn around
Just lay back
And let it happen
And remember to breathe
Lived a lifetime
On the low path
On the low path
On this low path
On this low path
And just lay back
Let it happen
And remember to breathe
And just lay back
Let it happen
And remember to breathe

Words can stab as deep as night
And cut like a razored thorn
Bitter air and the winds of spite
Like the cold of winter’s scorn
Leaves may fall on sleeping ground
But the wind sweeps them away
Like hurt lovers in the final round
What once was is now decayed
I can’t go on living alone now that you’re gone
A single strand of spider’s weave
Just dancing in the sun
Please don’t turn around and leave
You are my only one
Compromise is made out of peace
But history’s made out of violence
After the war of the worlds has ceased
All that’s left is the deafening silence
I can’t go on living alone now that you’re gone
You done me wrong, so here’s your song
Now sing along, baby
Well, I know you know that you’re killing me
But it’s worth it just to see you smile
Tell ’em to carve my name in the bar stool, baby
You know I’m gonna be here a while
A single strand of spider’s weave
Just dancing in the sun
Please don’t turn around and leave
You are my only one
I can’t go on living alone now that you’re gone
You done me wrong, so here’s your song
Now sing along

Breakaway

MUSIC: Breakaway by Big Pig.

R’s first true group choreography. it took damn long enough, didn’t it?

This song is in the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures soundtrack, and it appears during the opening titles. I’ve always felt there’s an Ancient Egyptian feel to the song with the chants.

TRIVIA: Big Pig is known for a hard, driving beat without the use of guitars. Which is amusing, since both Bill and Ted are shown as jamming out with guitars.

All my life I wanted to fly
Like the birds that you see way up in the sky
Making circles in the morning sun
Flying high in the sky ’till the day is done
(I can’t break away)
Like a child in his fantacy
Punching holes in the walls of reality
All my life I wanted to fly
But I don’t have the wings and I wonder why
(I can’t breakaway)
Woha, well moma told me,
When I was young,
Stand tall girl
Your numer one
(she said)
But you can’t be what you wanna be
But you can shake the course of your destiny
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
Well no, no ,no ,no, no
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
Oh yeah,
I share,
I share you, who?
One is one
(one)
And two is two
(two)
You want me
And I hang you
Black is Black (black is black)
And white is white (whit is white)
So come out in the middle
‘Till midnight
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
Well no, no ,no ,no, no
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah-heh-heh
Well moma told me,
When I was young,
Stand tall girl (stand tall girl)
Your number one (your number one)
(she said)
You can’t be what you wanna be
But you can change the course of your destiny
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
No, no, no ,no, no
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
No, no, no., no, no
I can’t break away
Ah-min-ah, do-ki-do, ah-mah-neh-la.
Woo ooo ooo oh oh
I can’t break away (I can’t break away)

Soupy George

A solo routine by R… sort of.
“Soupy George” by Seven Seconds of Love.

R says: “I created this for Guerilla Burlesque on MST engine.
It was quick silly song that I’ve loved for years and envisioned running around like an idiot, knocking things over and making crazy soup and then falling into the vat at the end.
Adding the two “victims” in the middle was meant to be a thank you to supporters of dance.
When I get back to making routines, I hope to do them as silly as this one.
Oh, and the crates are full of prim cocks.”

Who’s that man with the soup on his head?
I said, Who’s that man with the soup on his head?
I said soupy george you got soup on your head
Soupy george you got soup on your head
Soupy george you got soup on your head
You stupid, soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Who’s that man with the soup on his head?
I said, Who’s that man with the soup on his head?
I said soupy george you got soup on your head
Soupy george you got soup on your head
Soupy george you got soup on your head
You stupid, soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Oxtail, chicken, mushroom, minestrone
Ham and pea and panda nose and pony
Badger, bacon, bear and mascarpone
Tonsil, tapeworm, terrapin called Tony
Bits of beaver that are very bony
Fingernails, verrucas and baloney
Snot and teeth and eyes and macaroni
Centipede and squid and pepperoni
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Soup on your head
Stupid soup-head soupy George
You stupid soup-head soupy George
Stupid stupid soup-head soupy George!

Play the Game Tonight

Choreography and Set: R.
Music: “Play the Game Tonight” by Kansas

R says: “The first routine that I ever created. Was the basis of an article I wrote for Inara Pey’s blog.
I asked a bunch of people for their thoughts on how to improve it as I made it.
Got to learn a lot of people’s styles and prefections.
Grateful for the guidance.
The routine is symbolic of the need to perform over and over and over until you’re at the breaking point, sharing all you have.
And dying at the end for your art. Giving everything up.
The red queen kills me… a wink and nod to my friend Red Queen.”

You think that something’s happening
And it’s bigger than your life
But it’s only what you’re hearing
Will you still remember
When the morning light has come?
Will the songs be playing over and over
Till you do it all over again?
Play (Play)
Play the game tonight
Can you tell me if it’s wrong or right?
Is it worth the time, is it worth the price?
Do you see yourself in a white spotlight?
Then play the game tonight
And when the curtains open
To the roaring of the crowd
You will feel it all around you
Then it finally happens
And it’s all come true for you
And the songs are playing over and over
Till you do it all over again
Play (Play)
Play the game tonight
Can you tell me if it’s wrong or right?
Is it worth the time, is it worth the price?
Do you see yourself in the white spotlight?
Then play the game tonight
Play (Play)
Play the game tonight
Can you tell me if it’s wrong or right?
Is it worth the time, is it worth the price?
Do you see yourself in the white light?
Play (Play)
Play the game tonight
Can you tell me if it’s wrong or right?
Is it worth the time, is it worth the price?
Do you see yourself in the white spotlight?
(Play the game tonight)
(Play the game tonight)

Twister

Choreography and Set: R.
Music: “Twister” by Seven Seconds of Love.

R says: “Another mad piece that came from the crazy Joel Vietch videos.
Fun, bouncy, wanted to jump all over the place, and then burn out retinas with the set change.
Added the strip part of it for the sake of stripping.
The guy on the bench is reading my story book.”

Migrated from MST to Spot On and reworked as a seven dancer group routine for October 2019.

Well I met her on a sunny day in July
I was sitting on a beach with a beer and a book and enjoying a pork pie
She smiled at me, her eyes laughed at me
She said “let’s have some fun, let’s play Twister in the sun”
And I said
“I’d love to play Twister with you,
“You go get the sheet, I’ll just go and wash my feet”
And put your left hand on red
Put your right foot on blue
I wanna spend every day with you
When I’m happy I can fly like the bees in the sky
Today I’m playing Twister in the sun
I said “come on then, let’s see what you can do,
“I can’t wait to spin your spinner and get tangled up with you”
She wrapped herself around me so that all that I could see
Was a little bit of skin just below her chin
She said
“I’d love to play Twister with you,
“But now let’s go inside I know a place that we could hide”
And put your left hand on red
Put your right foot on blue
I wanna spend every day with you
When I’m happy I can fly like the bees in the sky
Today I’m playing Twister in the sun
In the sun
Red, yellow, green and blue
Red, yellow, green and blue
Red, yellow, green and blue
Red, yellow, green and blue
Put your left hand on red
Put your right foot on blue
I wanna spend every day with you
When I’m happy I can fly like the bees in the sky
Today I’m playing Twister
Yes, today I’m playing Twister
Put your left hand on red
Put your right foot on blue
I wanna spend every day with you
When I’m happy I can fly like the bees in the sky
Today I’m playing Twister in the sun

A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow


Music is Mitch and Mickey’s “A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow” from “A Mighty Wind”

R says: “This one I performed at Paramount after I’d left Guerilla Burlesque.
It was created to represent the end of a longtime contentious relationship.
I challenged myself to do a duo, and this almost broke me.
I still miss the person I thought she was.”

LYRICS

Oh when the veil of dreams has lifted,
And the fairy tales have all been told,
There’s a kiss at the end of the rainbow;
More precious than a pot of gold.

In tales of ancient glory,
Every knight and maiden fair shall be joined when the quest is over,
And a kiss is the oath that they swear.

And when the veil of dreams has lifted,
And the fairy tales have all been told,
There’s a kiss at the end of the rainbow;
More precious than a pot of gold.

My sweet, my dear, my darling, you’re so far away from me.
Though an ocean of tears divides us,
Let the bridge of our love span the sea.

There’s a kiss at the end of the rainbow,
More precious than a pot of gold.

Dance on the Edge of a Sword

Choreography and Set: R., with help by Sho Kyong
Music: “Dance on the Edge of a Sword” by Zorch Boomhauer. (SL musician)

R. says “Represents the anger and pain I fight every day. The constant storm in my head.
You must be true to your word, and if you stray from the path, you’ll be slashed to bits.”

Let me Dance on the edge of a sword
Let me stand and fall by the weight of my words
Let me walk in the sun
Let me choose where I run
as I Dance on the edge of a sword

The world and all it’s wisdom
Seems easy to forgive
Because from where I’m standing
Every man dies, but not ever man lives

Two paths lay before you
Which one will you choose
Because from where I’m standing
You have the most to gain when you have nothing to loose