Sexy Santa

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

Ho ho ho!
Santa’s gettin’ ripped and he’s lost some weight
He’s on a low-carb diet and he’s lookin’ great
He’s got a sack full of rubbers and you better believe
The ladies will be screaming on Christmas Eve!
He delivers the sexy and he never fails
The rest of the year he works at Chippendale’s!
Sexy sexy Santa
He’s got a bitchin’ sled and some rock-hard abs
Sexy sexy Santa
He knows you’ve naughty cuz he’s keepin’ tabs!
In the back of his sleigh he’s got some hoe hoe hoe’s
They’re lickin’ eggnog drippin’ from his firehouse
He traded little Prancer for an exotic dancer
Yeah you can see his North Pole if you look at his pants-a!
He’s got a bitchin’ red suit and he’s totally buff
He’ll come to your house if you got a stocking to stuff!
Sexy sexy Santa
He’s kissin’ girls under the camel toe
Sexy sexy Santa
The elves are all horny and they’re snortin’ blow
Sexy sexy Santa
It’s the UK, USA, Brazil and Japan
Sexy sexy Santa
Makin’ love to every Christmas-lovin’ woman and man!
Suck it!
Yeah he’s spreadin’ Christmas cheer
To the Scrooges and the Grinches
Here’s your log- it’s a chubby eleven inches!
Naked on his reindeer [something] on booze
Makin’ love to Christians and renegade Jews!
He’s got a calendar but only one day has an ‘X’
That leaves three hundred and sixty four days for sex!
Sexy sexy Santa
More cushion for the pushin’ gonna [something]
Sexy sexy Santa
He’s hot but he used to be a big fat cow!
Sexy sexy Santa
All the little girls wanna sit on his lap
Sexy sexy Santa
Get ’em riled up so they get free crap (crabs?)
Wow! Little girl you wanna get a little Christmas inside of you tonight?

Mistletoe and Wine

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

The child is a king, the carolers sing
The old has passed, there’s a new beginning
Dreams of Santa, dreams of snow
Fingers numb, faces aglow
Oh, it’s Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see
A time for living, a time for believing
A time for trusting, not deceiving
Love and laughter and joy ever after
Ours for the taking, just follow the master
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see
It’s a time for giving, a time for getting
A time for forgiving, and for forgetting
Christmas is love, Christmas is peace
A time for hating and fighting to cease
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see
Christmas time (Silent night)
Mistletoe and wine (Holy night)
Children singing Christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to rejoice in the good that we see

Merry Christmas Baby

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
In days of auld lang syne
Oh oh
Merry Christmas baby
You sure did treat me nice, oh ooh yeah yeah
Said uh, merry Christmas baby, oh ooh
You sure did treat me nice, oh ooh
You gave me a diamond ring for Christmas
Now I’m living in paradise, oh oh
I’m, I’m feeling mighty fine
Got good music on my radio
(Yes you do child)
Well I’m, I’m feeling mighty fine
Got good music, on, music on my radio, oh
Well I, I want to kiss you baby
While we’re standing underneath the mistletoe
Santa came down the chimney
About a half past three
Left all these pretty presents
That you, that you see before me, oh
Merry Christmas baby, merry Christmas baby
You sure been good to me, oh, oh ooh
Well I, I haven’t had a drink this morning
But I’m, I’m lit up like a Christmas tree
Christmas tree, oh oh oh, oh yeah
Oh, yeah yeah yeah
Oh oh ooh, yeah, oh, ooh,
Oh oh yeah, yeah, yeah
St. Nick came down the chimney
About a half past three
He left all these pretty presents
That you see before me
Merry Christmas baby
You sure been good to me
Haven’t had a taste this morning
But I’m all lit up like a Christmas tree
Oh, oh, oh ooh, oh ooh
Merry Christmas baby
You sure been good to me
Oh oh, oh oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh
Sure been good, to, to, to, me
Hey, oh oh hey

Love Under the Mistletoe

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

It’s this time of the year
christmas is near
and everyone feels love in their hearts

the world covered in snow
with a special glow
sending out to my loved ones
cheesy christmas cards

there is one gift i hope for
the one i hope you’ll go for
the one gift i want to receive from you now:

let me fuck you under the mistletoe
let me whip you with my festive whip
let me go down on you
under the christmas tree
thats the present you will receive from me!

don’t you like the white snow?
you and me should go
somewhere where we’re alone
don’t want your relatives to hear you moan

there is one gift i hope for
the one i hope you’ll go for
the one gift i want to receive from you now:

let me fuck you under the mistletoe
let me whip you with my festive whip
let me go down on you
under the christmas tree
thats the present you will receive from me!

oh baby let me stuff your stocking
Santa Claus won’t be the only one coming
oh baby let me stuff your stocking
Santa Claus won’t be the only one coming

let me fuck you under the mistletoe
let me whip you with my festive whip
let me go down on you
under the christmas tree
thats the present you will receive from me!

Joy to the World

Joy to the world!
Joy to the world! Oh, woah
Joy to the world, the Lord is come
Let earth receive her King
Let every heart prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing
Joy to the world!
Joy to the world! Oh
Joy to the world, the Savior reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy
Joy to the world then we sing
Let the earth receive her King!
Joy to the world then we sing
Let the angel voices ring
Joy to the world then we sing
Let the men their songs employ
Joy to the world then we sing
And repeat the sounding joy
He rules the world with truth and grace
And makes the nations prove (and makes the nations prove)
And glories of His righteousness
And wonders of His love
And wonders of His love
And wonders of His love
And wonders, wonders of His love
And wonders, wonders of His love
Joy to the world then we sing
Let the earth receive her King
Joy to the world then we sing
Let the angel voices ring

Fezziwig’s Ball

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

(The Ghost of Christmas Past shows Scrooge a happy time from his youth—his apprenticeship with the kind Mr. Fezziwig. A
festive gathering is in proress. Scrooge sees himself as a young man, and sees his first love, Emily.)
MR. FEZZIWIG
“A toast!”
We’re so glad to have you here tonight!
MRS. FEZZIWIG
Pour some wine and
Have yourselves a bite!
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Here’s to all
Who’ve come to pay a call:
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Mr. Fezziwig’s annual
Christmas ball!
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
MRS. FEZZIWIG
Where do bankers
Gallivant like boys?
MR. FEZZIWIG
Where do vicars
Make a holy noise?
MRS. FEZZIWIG
What’s so hot
You’ve got to shed your shawl?
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Mr. Fezziwig’s annual
Christmas ball!
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
MIDDLE CLASS
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
UPPER CLASS
Rat tat tat tat tat tat tat?
WORKING CLASS
No! … Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
MRS. FEZZIWIG
What makes nannies
Laugh until it hurts?
MR. FEZZIWIG
What gets grannies
Kicking up their skirts?
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Where do babies
Dance before they crawl?
ALL
Mr. Fezziwig’s annual
Christmas ball!
ALL
Food and friendship,
Wine and song,
No one turned a-
Way!
We look forward,
All year long
To Christmas Eve when
MRS. FEZZIWIG
Mr. F. puts every penny
Toward the joy and good of many …
HABERDASHER, OTHERS
Haberdashers dashing down the beer,
WORKING CLASS WOMEN
Porters courting
Any girl who’s near,
ALL
Maids and masters dancing wall to wall,
MRS. FEZZIWIG
Mr. Fezziwig’s annual Christmas ball!
(Everyone dances!)
MIDDLE CLASS
Rat tat tat tat tat! ho!
WORKING CLASS
Rat tat tat tat tat! ho!
ALL
Fezziwig’s annual Christmas …
(The Upper Class Couples take the floor and dance elegantly. The floor is now relinquished to the Working Class Men.)
Rat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat
Rat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat!
MEN
Here’s to all who’ve come to pay a call!
ALL
Mr. Fezziwig’s annual
Christmas ball!
(Young Scrooge and Emily dance. Old Srooge almost dances with them. Then they’re swept up in the dance and pulled apart.)
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
Rat tat tat tat tat … ho!
Hearts are beating,
Cheeks are turning red!
Dancing, laughing,
Welcome and well-fed!
MR. AND MRS. FEZZIWIG
Such a glad time
Had by one and all!
SCROOGE
It’s the finest
Ball I can recall.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
And for joy,
The price is always small!
SOME GUESTS
Mr. Fezziwig’s…
SCROOGE
…Fezziwig’s
OTHER GUESTS
Fezziwig’s
SOME GUESTS
Annual…
SCROOGE
Annual…
OTHER GUESTS
Annual…
SCROOGE, GHOST, AND ALL
Christmas ball!
ALL
Rat tat tat ta ta ta ta ta
ta ta ta ta tat – ho!
[Thanks to jessica_t for lyrics]
[Thanks to Jeffrey West for corrections]

Drummer Boy

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

Come, they told me (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
A newborn king to see (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Our finest gifts we bring (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
To lay before the king (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum,
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum)
So, to honor Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
When we come.
Baby Jesu(pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I am a poor boy too (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I have no gift to bring (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
That’s fit to give a king (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum,
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum)
Shall I play for you (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
On my drum?
Mary nodded (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
The ox and lamb kept time (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum,
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum)
Then, He smiled at me (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Me and my drum

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Do you hear what I hear?
Said the night wind to the little lamb
Do you see what I see?
(Do you see what I see?)
Way up in the sky, little lamb
Do you see what I see?
(Do you see what I see?)
A star, a star, dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear?
(Do you hear what I hear?)
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear?
(Do you hear what I hear?)
A song, a song high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea
Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know? (Do you know what I know?)
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know? (Do you know what I know?)
A Child, a Child shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say! (Listen to what I say!)
Pray for peace, people, everywhere
Listen to what I say! (Listen to what I say!)
The Child, the Child sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

Closing of the Year

If I cannot bring you comfort
Then at least I bring you hope
For nothing is more precious
Than the time we have and so
We all must learn from small misfortune
Count the blessings that are real
Let the bells ring out for Christmas
At the closing of the year
Let the bells ring out for Christmas
At the closing of the year.
If I cannot bring you comfort
Then at least I bring you hope.
Now all the winter bells are ringing
Hear them echo through the snow
And the children’s voices singing
on the streets so far below
This is a time to be together
And the truth is somewhere here
Within our love of people
At the closing of the year.