Oom Pah Pah

(spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all! I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues to give us her well known rendition of the old school song — Oom-Pah-Pah!
NANCY
(spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! A bit of culture now! ‘Ere we go…
(sung) There’s a little ditty
They’re singing in the city
Ecspecilly when they’ve been
On the gin
Or the beer
If you’ve got the patience
Your own imaginations
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear…
ALL
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows
NANCY
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear… oom-pah-pah!!
Mister Percy Snodgrass
Would often have the odd glass —
But never when he thought anybody could see
Secretly he’d buy it
And drink it on the quiet
And dream he was an Earl
Wiv a girl on each knee!
CUSTOMERS AND NANCY
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows…
NANCY
What is the cause of his red shiny nose?
Could it be… oom-pah-pah!?
Pretty little Sally
Goes walking down the alley
Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men
They could see her garters
But not for free-and-gratis–
An inch or two, and then she knows
When to say when!
ALL
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows…
NANCY
Whether it’s hidden, or whether it shows —
It’s the same… oom-pah-pah!
She was from the country
But now she’s up a gum-tree —
She let a feller beat ‘er, then lead ‘er along
What’s the good o’ cryin’?
She’s made a bed to lie in
She’s glad to bring the coin in
And join in this song!
ALL
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes!
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows
NANCY
She is no longer the same blushing rose
Ever since … oom-pah-pah!
(spoken) Altogether now!
NANCY
(sung) There’s a little ditty
They’re singing in the city
Espeshly when they’ve been
On the gin
Or the beer
If you’ve got the patience
Your own imaginations
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear…
COMPANY
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear… oom-pah-pah!!
ALL
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That’s how it goes
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev’ryone knows
NANCY
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear… oom-pah-pah!!
ALL
Oom-pah-pah!ccc

I want to know what love is

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PARTIES:

I’ve gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I’m older
This mountain, I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds, I see love shine
Keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life, there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me (hey)
Gotta take a little time
Little time to look around me
I’ve got nowhere left to hide
Looks like love has finally found me
In my life, there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is (I wanna know)
I want you to show me (I wanna feel)
I wanna feel what love is (I know, I know, and I know)
I know you can show me
Let’s talk about love
I wanna know what love is
(Love that you feel inside)
I want you to show me
(I’m feeling so much love)
I wanna feel what love is
(And you know, you just can’t hide)
I know you can show me
Oh, I wanna know what love is
(Let’s talk about love)
I know you can show me
(I wanna feel)
I wanna feel what love is
(And you know you just can’t hide)
I know you can show me
I wanna feel what love is (oh, I wanna know)
I want you to show me

Link By Link

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
It is required of every man,
that his spirit travel far.
Lending help to those he can,
no matter who they are.
But if you don’t go forth in life,
spreading joy and easing pain,
your spirit will go forth in death,
and you shall wear a chain!

These were coins I hoarded for a rainy day,
now with every jingle I’m distressed!
Locks and keys that helped me keep the poor away…
That’s what put these locks and keys around my waist..

Link by link,
my chain was getting longer!
Link by link,
I should’ve heard a clink!
Link by link,
each year a little stronger..
Link by link by HORRIFYING link!

Stacking up my silver and my bits of gold,
filling up my vault when day was done!
Well, vaults are made of lead
and cash is very cold!
And around your neck they weigh a bloody ton!

Link by link,
You’re on the brink.
It’s written here,
in blood-red ink.
Unlock your heart!
It’s not too late!
For you’ll be dragging something more than
twice this weight!

-SCROOGE-
No, please…

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
Ebenezer Scrooge…

-SCROOGE-
Y-yes?

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
You shall be visited by three ghosts!

-SCROOGE-
Umm, no thank you..

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
When the clock strikes one –
the Ghost of Christmas Past..

-SCROOGE-
I prefer not to think about the past..

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
When the clock strikes two –
the Ghost of Christmas Present..

-SCROOGE-
At present, I’d rather go to bed. Good night…

-GHOST OF JACOB MARLEY-
When the clock strikes three –
the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Be!

Three ghosts who yet may stop you
from ending up like me…

~ Ghosts of other greedy men and women invade Scrooge’s room. ~

-GHOST CHORUS-
Singing sorry spirits who were once like you!*
Dragging chains are all that we’ve acquired.

All the good in life it’s now too late to do..
not to mention this could really make you tired!

Link by link,
your chain is in the making!
Link by link,
no way to make it shrink!
Link by link,
just listen to it shaking!

Whoo ooooo oooooo ooooo
oooooo oooo ooooooo oo
oooo oooo whooo ooo ooooo

Link by link by HORRIFYING –

Link by link by link by link by link by link by
link by link!
Your life must be corrected..
Link by link!
..and sooner than you think..
Link by link!
..or you shall be connected..
..link by link by horrifying link.

Where are you Christmas?

Oh, oh, hmm
Where are you Christmas
Why can’t I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can’t I hear music play
My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I’m not the same one
See what the time’s done
Is that why you have let me go, oh
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
Oh, I feel you Christmas
I know I’ve found you
You never fade away, oh
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love, mmhm

Alone at Christmas

VERSE

I had a dream of Christmas
A Time when dreams come true
A special dream of Christmas
And spending it with you
Sitting by the fire
holding you so tight
Feeling safe and warm and loved
On a beautiful Christmas night

BRIDGE

We won’t be needing mistletoe
to know just what to do
A look in your eyes and I will know
Its time for kissing you
I know its just a dream
But it feels so real to me
You and I should always be together
here at christmas time

CHORUS

I wont be alone for Christmas
Even though we’re miles apart
I’ll never be alone for Christmas
Because I hold you in my heart
Always hold you so deep in my heart

VERSE

I know you have to be away now
I know there inst any choice
But I know that every day now
I long to hear your voice
I know you wish the same as I do
You say the same things that I say
how you wish you could be near me
Specially on christmas day

BRIDGE

Watch the snow fall all around us
Walking hand in hand
Feel so close together
but we both understand
I know its just a dream
But it feels so real to me
You and I should always be together
here at christmas time

MIDDLE 8

Some people do just fine on their own
Some of them prefer to be alone
But I am telling you, come what may,
I wont be on my own on christmas day.

CHORUS

I wont be alone for Christmas
Even though we’re miles apart
I’ll never be alone for Christmas
Because I hold you in my heart
Always hold you so deep in my heart

CHORUS

I wont be alone for Christmas
Even though we’re miles apart
I’ll never be alone for Christmas
Because I hold you in my heart
Always hold you so deep in my heart

Arnold Layne / See Emily Play / Bike

Arnold Layne had a strange hobby
Collecting clothes moonshine washing line
They suit him fine
On the wall hung a tall mirror
Distorted view, see through baby blue
He dug it
Oh, Arnold Layne
It’s not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know, two to know
Why can’t you see?
Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Now he’s caught
A nasty sort of person
They gave him time
Doors bang, chain gang he hates it
Oh, Arnold Layne
It’s not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know, two to know
Why can’t you see?
Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Don’t do it again

Emily tries but misunderstands, ah ooh
She’s often inclined to borrow somebody’s dreams till tomorrow
There is no other day
Let’s try it another way
You’ll lose your mind and play
Free games for May
See Emily play
Soon after dark Emily cries, ah ooh
Gazing through trees in sorrow hardly a sound till tomorrow
There is no other day
Let’s try it another way
You’ll lose your mind and play
Free games for May
See Emily play
Put on a gown that touches the ground, ah ooh
Float on a river forever and ever, Emily (Emily)
There is no other day
Let’s try it another way
You’ll lose your mind and play
Free games for May
See Emily play

I’ve got a bike, you can ride it if you like
It’s got a basket, a bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I’d give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it
You’re the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I’ll give you anything, everything if you want things
I’ve got a cloak it’s a bit of a joke
There’s a tear up the front
It’s red and black, I’ve had it for months
If you think it could look good, then I guess it should
You’re the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I’ll give you anything, everything if you want things
I know a mouse, and he hasn’t got a house
I don’t know why I call him Gerald
He’s getting rather old, but he’s a good mouse
You’re the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I’ll give you anything, everything if you want things
I’ve got a clan of gingerbread men
Here a man, there a man, lots of gingerbread men
Take a couple if you wish
They’re on the dish
You’re the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I’ll give you anything, everything if you want things
I know a room of musical tunes
Some rhyme, some ching, most of them are clockwork
Let’s go into the other room and make them work